what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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