OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
