so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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