I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
