Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
someone owes me an orgasm
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
