It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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