I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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