I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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