The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
