You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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