The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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