I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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