you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Me too!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
