i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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