I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
