Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
