We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
