okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
