how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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