people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
