So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
