I could have mohawked her pubes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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