I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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