There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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