I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
