he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
