do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
