if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
