then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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