yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
