my phone needs a breathalizer
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
