Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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