If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So much rum. So many feels.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
