I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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