So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
