lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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