I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize