Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
