I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
