Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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