I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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