you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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