so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize