Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
