stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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