Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
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You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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