Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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