you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
