playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
