:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
