I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
