youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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