I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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