we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
