I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she peed on how many people?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
