You smell like stripper and shame
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
