I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
