i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
