I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
