please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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