she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
