she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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