I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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