the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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