So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she woke up with a sticky ear
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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