He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
