i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Randomize
