I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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