This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
