The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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