Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
