Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize