Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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