Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
