I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When are your genitals available?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
