The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
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He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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