dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want a musical about memes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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